Surely we have all heard sermons or messages before about the brevity of life and how important it is to leave a legacy of love behind you. We're encouraged to think about what others will say of us when we are dead and to let that motivate us to live right in the ruckus of daily toil, in this one chance we have on this fading, blinking blue dot called earth.
You know what these kind of sermons make me feel like? Freakin' awful. I suck. As I think over all the unloving words and thoughts I have perpetuated today I feel like I'm not making any steps towards sanctification, towards becoming more like Christ in the way I love. I feel stagnant. Is God really holding the reigns?
Anyway, how is being motivated by what others will say of you after death any different than being spurred on by what others will think or say of you now? To me, it all looks the same. It smells like melting gold and prideful thoughts. It feels like breaking your teeth on a stone instead of biting into a slice of warm bread.
It looks like projecting an image of your ideal self instead of loving yourself just the way Jesus already loves you.
We see the sanctification process as works-based decontamination instead of Holy Spirit-driven restoration.
While it sounds really nice for beautiful things to be said about me at my death, should I even care? Further, why do I desire super-Christian status? Let's break it down. In the Bible, a person can get a chapter starring them, others a verse, and some an entire book, but have you noticed what God chooses to reveal about people who are His children? Most of the time, it is not a biography flowing with milk and honey, with heartwarming compliments and life's spiritual successes. In fact, it's quite the opposite.
God most often highlights our failures to trust Him, our guilt, our selfish, idol-loving behavior and ultimate hopelessness.
For a few examples, check out Samson the Arrogant, Moses the Terrified, Paul the Murderer, Thomas the Doubter, or David the Adulterer-King.
Why does God do this to us? Why doesn't he highlight our heroic actions of faith? Why does He display our most embarrassing qualities to a watching world and expect us to be encouraged? Because His glory lies in our weakness. I don't mean that in the sense that God is some evil giant troll that taunts our smallness and enjoys stepping on us to show his omnipotence. God is not a bully.
Rather, He desires to show us what He can do through the most stubborn and godless of hearts. In our weakness He is made strong. And those parts in our lives where we feel like there's no hope for us, the broken parts, the festering bitter wounds . . . this, God declares, is where God will make all things new. For what unimaginably awesome newness is there to be made of the parts of your life that you've already "got all together"?
Spoiler alert: this story, my life, the accumulation of all of our lives on this earth from the beginning of time into eternity . . . is about God, not about us. Sorry if you're disappointed. That's the way it is, and more and more, I have come to realize that I wouldn't want it any other way.
So if this story, my story, is about God, I want to boast in my weaknesses (which are many,) because there, miraculously, God gives grace, healing, and power. He shows us our hopelessness to give us hope--because without God we wander like sheep without a shepherd but with God even our demoralizing foolishness is not meaningless because God will work everything out for our good and His glory.
Well, ya know what, if that's the way God works, I want in on it.
So, in case you were thinking of writing a biography about me, I ask only one thing. Don't leave the ugly parts out. Highlight the ugly parts, because it is there that God reveals Himself most clearly.
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