Noel: Our Past, Present, and Future (Part 2)

Noel: Our Past, Present, and Future

The crux of Noel, of Christmas, of the hope of eternity, was birthed among animals. Cattle and pigs were the only witnesses of His birth save for Mary and Joseph. I assume there was nothing special about the birthing process either. Christ the baby didn't glow or speak or do anything that would signify His presence as God of the universe. God self-reduced to tthe form of His creation. 

A chorus of angels heralded Christ's entrance to a few shepherds. The rest of Creation would examine the evidence of a star. I've no doubt that angels and demons were battling one of the fiercest wars in eternal history that day. Angels battled fearlessly, confident of their winning King. Demons fought in desperation, kamikazes of evil launching themselves every which way. Feeding Herod's jealousy, throwing obstacles in the earthly journeys of faithful servants. They must have battled for the very minds of Mary and Joseph, spurring doubts and fears. All the while growing more certain of their loss. 

And then He is born--Satan's frustrated schemes scream like nails on a chalkboard, ripping across a starry sky. This humble, unexpected, breathless victory of God compels shepherds to rejoice and Mary to sing and Joseph to tremble in awe and praise. 

Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart (Luke 2:19). Looking back on the craziest 9 months of her life. That night, 9 months previous, as she lay dreaming of her soon-to-be marriage to Joseph, startled by an angel who tells her not to fear. How could fear slide back down her throat when she's just been told that the Holy Spirit has placed the Savior of the world inside her very body? Did she sleep at all that night? If so, only by the grace of God. A willing teenager. That's all Mary was. She was a soldier willing to do whatever her Servant King asked, and though she abandoned a peaceful marriage and a life unjudged, she trusted God was working all things out for her good. He was on her side. She trusted Him. Perhaps just enough. And isn't that what we all should do? 

We too are soldiers receiving instructions from our King. One command we have all been given is to go out into all the world and show others the beauty and joy of the Kingdom in which we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28.)

And Joseph--going ahead with the marriage to his dearest love--despite accusations that her pregnancy was illegitimate. The courage it must have took to stand against the uproar of friends and family. Uproar that could have led to his wife being stoned or abandoned and he rejected and scorned. Perhaps it made job prospects bleak, for who would respect a man who would take such a wife? Many tears must have been shed with the weight of this decision. This courage must have come from God alone: to be the earthly father of Emmanuel, God with us. No selfish man could have accepted that task in their own strength. 

And we too can summon courage to accept "impossible" tasks, not from within ourselves, but from the Holy Spirit who lives inside us. 

Christ, our past gift; the Holy Spirit, our present gift; God the Father in all glory and power, our future gift! Could there be a more generous God, who gives of Himself throughout history--Christ, once for all to save, the Holy Spirit to counsel and comfort, and the Father who will reign eternally. Three in one, given in most mysterious, compassionate, glorious ways. This--THIS is Christmas! 

Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel has come to us! So open presents with joy this Christmas, remembering the gifts God has blessed us with, and those that are still to come!

Noel: Our Past, Present, and Future (Part 1)

Noel: Our Past, Present, and Future

Christmas (Noel) is not a story, but a history. His. Story. The account of God humbling Himself to the weakest human form imaginable in order to captivate our hearts . . . this is our Christmas past, present, and future. There's a reason we still sing Christmas carols about wise men and shepherds coming to see Jesus, angels in chorus in the heavens, and a star that somehow lights the way towards a newborn child. The old carols can seem stale, unnatural, old-fashioned at times, but think about it.

It's more than just recalling what happened long ago with awe and gratitude, though that is a big part of Christmas. We are the wise men and shepherds. We are Mary and Joseph. Not literally, obviously. But we might as well have been. God didn't need to choose anyone special to witness His birth. So guess what? He didn't! Rejoice, for God favors the "least of these" in his life-giving Kingdom plans!

We three Kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain
Moor and mountain
Following yonder star

We still bring our gifts to Christ. Instead of laying them at a manger we get to lay them at the feet of a risen King. We are just as blessed as the wise men were in seeing Christ as a baby. We simply get to witness Him in a different way, present within us eternally. Profound is every small talent, gift, and even burden we surrender to our King. He does not let any of our tears go to waste. Joy to the world!  This child that spurred jealousy from earthly kings, such intense jealousy that Herod ordered all baby boys in the area to be killed . . . He lived and died and rose and offered to adopt us for an eternity. Us: billions of orphans wandering a hell-bent world of nails and wood.

The First Noel, the Angels did say

Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay

In fields where they lay keeping their sheep

On a cold winter's night that was so deep.

Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel

Born is the King of Israel!

Shepherds, students, teachers, fast food workers. Minding our own business, tending to daily needs  . . . and surprised by Christmas, heralded from a chorus on high! He does not choose to surprise the proud, the people who do not acknowledge their own helplessness. For even the most blatant of miracles would be swept away by such people, considered delusion for the sake of keeping their own god, that is, themselves. No, God chooses the searching, the adventurers, the wonderers and wanderers of this world because they alone can grasp with fumbling faith that true glory cannot come from man alone.

And Christ continues to surprise us. In daily blessings, in the stories of miraculous encounters, in the times of quiet and when we begin to move from stagnant religious talk into living an abundant, joyfully grateful life. Shepherds and magi. Humble and educated and all of it--all of us--welcome to accept a gift and a promise of greater things to come.

Welcome Home (Part 2)

Welcome Home (Part 2)

      Recited like poetry, sung like the most beautiful of melodies, the contents of this book was being stamped upon my soul. Every little blessing in my life was attributed correctly by the mouth of God Himself. 

      I remembered my moments of joy and triumph in a new light. Some of these triumphs had been so layered with lies that I didn't realize I wasn't honoring Truth. Other areas of my life I had attributed wrongly to weakness or lack of faith, but my King turned my perspective upside down in this regard as well. 

      I realized near the middle of the story that this was the equivalent of a journal. Here I sat, listening to God's thoughts and feelings about everything I had ever done. He had recorded all of this for my benefit. 

      Each sentence He read continued to fill the canyon of deepest longing in me. Jesus showed me the stains from His own tears that had spilled on many of the pages in this volume. My moments of distress, even the seemingly meaningless ones, had never been ignored. The Shepherd indeed wept with His sheep. I could see tears even now in His eyes as He spoke of a trying time in my life. Yet I could see an inescapable joy there too--like the promise of a coming spring after a relentless winter. And nothing--no, nothing that had ever occurred in my life had been a waste. The effects of the smallest of actions rippled through hundreds of people's lives. 

      Ultimate fulfillment tugs at the corners of my lips. Freedom in Christ is more rich than I could ever have imagined. Seemingly trivial moments are displayed in fervent detail, and we laugh together at all of my hyper-crazed moments. At all of the humor God graced me with in my lifetime. 

      Blessing heaped upon blessing in my most dire of circumstances. The question of evil--that question of "why" that had burned a sizzling hole in my heart my entire life . . . it is now being mended and sewn with answers I thought I would never attain, answers I thought I would never be able to accept. 

      Before I know it, the story ends. I realize that this is only the first volume of an infinite amount of God's account of what will be my eternal relationship with Him. My eyes are full of tears. I can't stop crying. Jesus helps me to my feet and embraces me as I whisper my gratitude in awe over and over again. Everything He has done for me . . . overwhelming is too small a word. 

      "I understand!" I cry, looking into the face of my Savior with a new sort of love--what one may call . . . perfect. 

      "Well done, my good and faithful servant. My sacrifice has covered your shame. There is no fear here, only life--life as I've always meant it to be." 

Welcome Home

[[ My inspiration for this little blurb is attempting to correct my own preconceived notions about what heaven is like.  Sometimes I fear what heaven will be like. Yeah, weird right? I fear that it will be some strange, mysterious place where all we do is worship and while that's absolutely wonderful, something tells me there is so much more. The mysterious part of heaven lies in the mystery of perfection and understanding that we will attain. But I believe there will be a deep-set familiarity, too. Familiarity that affirms, "So this is home."]]

Welcome Home Part 1

"Welcome home!" Immediate embrace. The face is strangely familiar, even though I am sure I haven't seen Him before. A warm, majestic glow emanates from His person.

      "Oh my God . . . " I whisper, falling to my knees.
      "Yes, I AM," He replies, lifting my chin with a sort of smirk on His face. "Welcome home, my child! Heaven rejoices that you have run the race and can now fully enjoy my presence and the extent of my love."
      I stare down at my hands and realize that I am glowing too. It's otherworldly, but not ghostlike. It is the feeling of completion, of perfection, all wrapped up in visual display.
      "Would you like some coffee?"
      "What?"
      "Pumpkin spice latte is your favorite, right?"
      "Yeah . . ."
      I begin to take in my surroundings as Jesus turns on the espresso machine. Did I really just say that? I suddenly burst out laughing. Jesus laughs too -- of course! He knows what I am thinking. At once trembling yet also feeling at perfect peace, I realize we are in a room full of books. I start to read some of the titles. Some are names like "Richard Smith." Others are books I would find in my own vast collection: The Hole in Our Gospel, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter . . . I laugh again.
      Jesus hands me a mug, full to the brim with the best-smelling coffee I have ever come across. The milk is frothy on top, just the way I like it. I take a sip and wonder if I ever had tasted real coffee before now. It is truly indescribable.
      "Thank you," I exclaim, still trying to come to grips with what is happening around me.
      "Just outside this room there are many friends and family awaiting your arrival."
      "Oh!"
      "But first, I need to tell you a story."
      Jesus offers me a seat in a comfy purple armchair and I snuggle into the cushions with my still-steaming mug. Jesus walks over to a shelf directly behind me. He pulls out a large volume. I don't even wonder how long this will take. In fact, the concept of time feels strangely irrelevant. Jesus lovingly opens the volume to page one and smiles at me.
      "This is My story through the lens of your precious life," He declares, then begins to read. He starts before I was born, to circumstances that, had they not occurred, would have not led to my birth. This stunning start was giving me such a thrill of wonder that I wanted to laugh and cry at once. Form the beginning, He refused to skip any of my bad moments-- my temper tantrums, selfish demands, and complaints. Though my heart felt sad as these wrongs were re-iterated, there was no guilt present. For the first time ever I knew without a doubt I had been absolved of all my wrongs--that God had never grown weary of loving and forgiving me.
   

For Your Listening Pleasure

Happy December 1st! Here is a Christmas-y audio project that I just finished for class on Wednesday. It is a radio drama and I am quite pleased with the result. :) God sustained me through this project for sure! I pulled an all-nighter finishing this thing.

Enjoy!

A Bipolar Relationship

[[[[ There are so many things I want to write about right now that I feel my heart wanting to burst open and spill out pages and pages of words on very different topics. In fact, even as I write this, what I was going to talk about I think I will save for a later date. I'm feeling a little ADD currently (can I use that as an excuse not to do homework? I think so.) 

I don't know what it is about God, but sometimes He just hits me with all these realities and instead of being spoon-fed I realize He is laying out a feast of ideas for me to delve into. I love thinking deeply about things. In fact, writing in this blog has become one of my favorite things to do--to discover what God wants to say to me and to record what I learn. ]]]]

"The problem with people is that we either let our emotions run our lives, or we cast them as villains and beat them into submission until they’re unrecognizable. We become over-emotional or anti-emotional, missing out on what God has for us through our feelings." - Fabienne Harford

So, let's hone into what I feel is one of hundreds of thoughts zipping around my head. . . you know, I'm pretty excited about God right now. I'm excited about what He is doing, the possibilities, the opportunities, the church I am attending here at school, etc. At other times I feel as if God is a universe away from me, that He may not even exist, that I'm following a lie, that I'll never make progress in areas I struggle with, that I might as well be dead for all the pain in the world that I'm helpless to amend. In fact, in the same day I can be wildly passionate and giddy about what God is doing and how awesome He is and then later on feel heavy discouragement snuggle into my thoughts, making a home in my doubts and fears. 

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS BIPOLAR!

How's that for being obnoxious? Just thought I'd get that out there. Don't worry. I'm not clinically diagnosed with bipolar syndrome. However! I want to boast in this spiritual weakness of mine, this being prone to deep emotion and swings of mindset that I don't understand. 

Why??? 

Because God teaches me so much through these strange ebbs and flows. He teaches me His faithfulness constant through what my senses perceive (or don't perceive.) He shows me how to pursue Him in every minuscule or seasonal feeling of either content or discontent. Music and writing stem from this confusion, either nudging me on the path of Truth or leading me to a deeper understanding of why I feel a certain way.

God isn't afraid of my emotions. So why should I fear them?

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The Weight of Waiting

Tonight I went to see a play called "Waiting for Godot" with my parents at Taylor. It was intensely frustrating. The main characters were waiting for this elusive savior who, even by the end of the play, didn't come. I left halfway through, but not because of the acting, which was tremendous. I left partly because the story was abstract and a little strange. But mostly I left because it resonated with me too deeply. I didn't want to see the end where who they waited for didn't come. In the end, so I hear, the main character still has hope that Godot will eventually appear. But the uncertainty reminded me of my doubts. My confusion of why God doesn't throw the pain of this world into the vacuum of nonexistence. My occasional fear that in the end, God will not show up.

Secret salvations. This must be the answer, cry the most desperate parts of me, the parts that remember the great sorrows of this world and are dismayed. There have been painful circumstances in my life, which ultimately produced something good within me or within others. I've talked about this before. Looking back, I would never choose to re-live these moments, despite the blessings I received through the struggle (aka, Ireland. Yeah, still wouldn't go back to the bad moments.) If I could take away all the pain in the history of this earth, I probably would do it. In consequence, I would doom us all to hell.

For if Jesus didn't die (this greatest act of injustice and pain) than life is worth nothing. If Jesus didn't rise from the dead, my life is, still, nothing. Would I seriously willingly choose to reverse all pain, thereby erasing Jesus' sacrifice and my eternal redemption? Death and life must occur, in that order. Pain is in the mix too. Pain isn't meaningless. Pain provides "secret salvations." In the most terrible disasters I can think of, God is slowly pouring His eternal love into heartache, like salt in a wound. It hurts, but it heals. The salt of His love renovates our hearts to holy places they would never have reached without the pain. Would I choose it for myself? Heck no.

The path to still waters is rougher than I thought.

Can I withstand the weight of waiting?

Make Good Choices!

"Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."

 - Isaiah 55:1-2

Imagine, for a moment, that you have the ability to eat anything you want at every meal for the rest of your life. This is at no cost to you. You never have to make it for yourself. There are no limitations, no food shortages. Every food item is at its prime--perfection. The corn is the sweetest you have ever had, the steak is cooked to your precise request, the fried potatoes are crispy, but not burnt. Not only this, but there are no bad effects of eating. Cupcakes grant you energy, but not fat. You don't even have to acknowledge calories or cholesterol.

Now imagine that you had to make a decision:
A) Follow the above plan (free and only beneficial, with no exceptions)
B) Eat like you have been since you were born--with all the lovely, unhealthy effects of gluttony or taking in too much sugar. Meal by meal, the food can be fantastic, mediocre, or downright awful. Often you don't have the freedom to eat what you really want.

If you wouldn't choose A, you CRAZY. You be failin' this pop quiz, yo. Obviously, this is a no-brainer. But translate this example to what we feed our soul. How often do we choose lesser gods (check out this video) when it should be obvious that we would be much more free and satisfied if we are feeding our soul with God's truth? Very often, I think...

Tension

I feel like the string of a bow, pulled back to full extension. I expect much of myself and I let myself down frequently. I worry about failing my own expectations, failing at being joyful or truly loving. So the string is pulled tighter.

I feel freedom when I'm in a good place, but I inevitably decline into a selfish, anxious state. Then again, I have a feeling that a lot of those moments when I think I have failed are falsely constructed in my fleeting, butterfly thoughts. How do I distinguish if my attitudes, actions, motives, and ultimately my life is going in a beneficial direction? How do I know if I'm deceiving myself?

It is impossible to rest in this mental tension.

Sometimes I equate my level of excitement to a degree of importance far higher than should be the case. Somehow, when I am sad or even just feeling tired and quiet, I feel bad about myself--like I'm doing something wrong. Like I'm not being who I should be. Like the world will look at me and shake its head and not understand my silence. I'll be labeled in a way I don't want--I may even be less loved. I want release from the tension of these deceptive thoughts.

And so I love those moments of freedom, when the arrow finally springs from the bow. Whether the arrow hits my intended target or not, I am content, I am confident. 

May the tension dissolve . . . help me, God to understand when my expectations are faulty and to fully enjoy being me, in the joy, in the sorrow, in the loud, in the quiet, in the weird and hilarious, in the solemn and serious.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

- Galatians 5:1

Incorruptible

¹⁶ For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. ¹⁷ And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. ¹⁸ Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. ¹⁹ If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

-1 Corinthians 15:16-19

I was thinking today. Yeah, I know--dangerous stuff. No, but really. I was thinking about a lot of things--dangerous topics for me, but I refused to rebuke them. I thought (in general, not specific instances) about what might happen, what  probably will happen, and what most certainly will happen to me/friends/family in the span of however many years I live. Guess what? I got worried. I got sad. I got feeling like life is too hard for me to handle. Knowing that my thoughts would take me to this point, I felt ridiculously predictable.

At times I feel hopeless, and I say I have no hope. There's proof enough on this blog, for crying out loud. The topic of hope probably takes up more than half my posts on here. The lie could not be more obvious. I don't even know what hopelessness looks like. I, who grew up with a strong Christian family, came to Christ at a young age, and have been discipled all my life do not understand real hopelessness. I have always known, if not fully believed, that there is a God who created humankind, who saved me from the consequences of rebellion, and who, as Father, Shepherd, and King, leads me through this tragic comedy of life. I have never lost someone who did not know Christ and is therefore eternally condemned (which I'm sure is a truly hopeless feeling.) Hopelessness takes many forms and corrupts many hearts, but the Holy Spirit has strengthened me (and all my brothers and sisters in Christ) with incorruptible hope.

This means that unless I completely abandon my faith forever (most likely proving I was never really a Christian) I am secure in Christ's death and resurrection. I am secure, thank the Lord! I must remember this truth:

Christ's work is the only security I can't steal from myself.

I do not have the power to "un-resurrect" Christ. Therefore, as Paul claims, no one can take away my hope.

So what is true hopelessness? True hopelessness, simply put, is not knowing God and the power of Christ's resurrection. Let's enter the life of a hopeless individual.

 Life is a short thrill ride that ends with a derailed track. The goal is to seek as much pleasure as possible and help improve the lives of succeeding generations. Friends hurt--there is nothing to see there but pain. Maybe you can provide them with a little comfort. Family dies. You'll never see them again. Maybe you get in a car accident and are paralyzed from the neck down. Well, you might as well kill yourself now, seeing as you're no longer helping society or gaining pleasure for yourself. You have no intrinsic worth--you must prove yourself to be worthy. There is no perfect love, no God that understands or saves you from this helpless state of being.

What's left when you die? A decomposing body packed under layers of dirt, and if you're very lucky, the memory of you and your work that will last among the living for centuries. Even so you will slowly dwindle into the realm of the forgotten. And guess what? You get the biggest and most terrible surprise of all. You were wrong all along thinking faith in God was stupid, and here you are suffering eternal torment. There truly is no hope for you anymore.

When I compare my times of "hopelessness" to a legitimate hopeless case such as the fictional account above, I begin to realize . . . I have never been hopeless . . . nor will I ever be. I don't need to fight for hope. Hope fights for me.

Blessings Abound!

In John 21, Jesus reveals Himself in His resurrected state to some of the disciples (not for the first time)  who are on a fishing expedition.

V4: Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

This verse reminds me of how often I do not recognize God's work in my life. Rarely can I sense His presence. It is hard to know, to know for sure that it is He who is standing at the shore, calling out to me, and not my own wishful thoughts reflecting back to me from across a sea of mystery. Does my mustard seed of faith prove me a fool?

V5: He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" 
      "No," they answered.

Jesus hops right in and starts a conversation with the disciples. I imagine the disciples are annoyed--wondering why this man cares about their fishing success? They're probably feeling whiney and embittered considering they've stayed up all night and haven't caught a thing. "Why is he talking to us?" I imagine Thomas whining to his neighbor in the boat, a yawn interrupting his speech.

Little do the disciples know that Jesus is setting up their hearts for another blessing.

As if He hasn't proved His love already!

But the acts of Christ are not exclusively about proving God's greatness . . . Christ loves purely out of who He is--the lifeblood and root of all love. God IS love (1 John 4:8.)

It's comforting to know that the trait I value most in this life (love) is the very definition of who God is.

Considering that the disciples don't recognize that Jesus is the one speaking to them, it is a wonder that they follow His advice to cast the net on the right side of the boat. Maybe they figure that they have nothing to lose. Maybe the disciples are so tired that they barely know what they are doing as they move the sad, empty net to the other side. Maybe they just want to get rid of "this guy" watching them on the shore, as if He knows them.

Well . . . He does know them.

Only when the net suddenly ensnares a multitude of fish (AKA when a miracle happens) do the disciples finally get it. The disciples could have attributed the sudden success to anything, but they had been around Christ too much to expect anything less than a glorious blessing from their great Shepherd Savior.

Similarly, I can attribute blessings in my life to my successes, to my rights, to the care of others . . . but ultimately, it is God who is working all things together for my good (Romans 8:28.) Why am I uncomfortable recognizing God brings every little blessing in my path?

I want to be so in tune with the nature of God's love that I have unshakeable confidence of His involvement in every single moment of my day.

Look what Peter does the moment he realizes Jesus is standing on the shore!

V7: Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, "It is the Lord," he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.

 I want to be that radical. I want to break the norms of what is acceptable and be appropriately enthusiastic of my God who gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives gives and gives and gives and gives and gives and gives.

I think you get the point.

Prisoner of Hope

Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope;
    even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.

- Zechariah 9:12 

Let's talk about slavery, shall we? No, I'm not going to plea for activism again. Let's talk about the average American Christian Joe or Jill. That's me and you. Oversimplification? Um, yes. Bear with me. 

We are all slaves/prisoners of something. I'm sure you've heard this before. As Christians, we were slaves of sin but now are slaves of Christ (Romans 6:22.) This is final. Nothing and no one can change this fact.

However, there is a more specific imprisonment that involves a daily exercise of the will.

Will I chain myself to fear or to hope?

Yes, it is I who imprison myself to either option. Since I am set free by Christ's death and resurrection, I am empowered.

 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power,love and self-discipline.

-2 Timothy 1:7 

Forces are strong against me.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sinat work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature^[d] a slave to the law of sin.

- Romans 7:21-25

A daily battle. 

I have been learning to pray not only for wisdom but also the courage to carry out that wisdom. 

That includes battling my fears. That includes battling the fear of my fears. That includes humility and vulnerability.

Today, I choose to chain myself to hope instead of fear. Circumstances will sway me. But instead of chaining myself to fear, being absolutely positive of its return and condemning myself for it, I choose to be a prisoner of hope. That means centering in on meaning, beauty, and perfection found only in Christ.

I want to be so held captive by hope that it overwhelms me. 

All else may fail. Even best friends and family are guaranteed to let me down at some point. I will let you down, I'm sure of it, even though I never want to. 

It's a daily mindset struggle. 

But I have a key around my neck and the Spirit of God within me to remind me that I always, always, always have the key to hope. 

Help me choose to be a prisoner of hope, my God. Day by day by uncertain, glorious day.

Taylor University, get ready to welcome a prisoner into your midst! :D

Sidenote: I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED ABOUT JUNIOR YEAR!!!!

Okay. End. :) 

Help!

I've tried to start this post several times, but the written word fails to provide the urgency I would like to convey. I think it is fairly safe to say that the greatest humanitarian crisis of the past several decades is the nightmare communist state of North Korea. I wanted to write about the striking comparisons between the hugely popular Hunger Games dystopian novels/movies and the North Korean crisis, but apparently someone else has also noticed the similarities. It's a great short article that I encourage you to read if you have time.

I myself am an unashamed fan of The Hunger Games novels/movie. The testament of Katniss's (lead protagonist) selflessness, courage, and loyalty in the midst of atrocities is inspiring. But there are real people like Katniss in North Korea whose government abuses them. There are also people in North Korea who do not know the concept of love or friendship. It's survival mode in many starved areas where the government turns a blind eye. Prison camps that hold thousandsare ridiculously evil. Think Nazi cruelty, except this has gone on for decades. Propaganda is rich with lies and layered with threats. Freedom of religion and speech are foreign concepts to a NK citizen. Freedom of any sort is a contorted, hazy dream.

But hope is there too, and it is determined to win. North Koreans are, more and more, able to access entertainment and information from the outside world via jump drives. People are beginning to receive new ideas about the outside world. Even with no access to internet, limited access to radio and television and a constant watchful eye from their "Dear Leader." And there is more to get excited about! A non-profit called LINK (liberty in North Korea) dedicates their work to rescuing and resettling NK refugees and making the North Korean plight known all over the world. Click here for just one rescue story.

Please consider contributing to this life-saving effort through LINK on my fundraising page! Any small, one-time donation will help. Consider it as a birthday present or just an opportunity, but don't be guilt-tripped into this. Helping North Korean's is one of my passions, and I realize that people may have different passions to which they are contributing. I'd also appreciate some FB advertising, if you have it. I currently do not have Facebook, but I know it is a good platform for this kind of thing. So if you want to put this link in your status update with a quick blurb, by all means feel free! www.stayclassy.org/happybirthday

Till We Have Faces

Till We Have Faces

a Facebook satire 

Note: this blog post, though it may contain nuggets of truth, is written with loooooots of sarcasm and exaggeration. I thought it would be funny to write something about my summer break from Facebook from the viewpoint as if Facebook was my boyfriend. I used as many Facebook-oriented words as I could, italicizing them. This is not to be taken seriously. ;)

Dear Facebook, 

It's been three months since we broke up. I always knew we would be in a relationship in the end, of course. We just needed time away from each other for a while. So I set up a wall between us. But now the friend management department isn't doing so well. I guess the summer wasn't the best time to split up. Without you, I have to keep up with friends through your emotion-less cousins, Texting and Email. Texting and I are . . .  well . . . let's just say it's complicated. Ya know, a love-hate kind of thing. I know you understand that--you get that a lot. 

I miss you, Facebook . . . how I could browse through profiles you oh-so-conveniently arranged for me anytime I wanted. You definitely saved me a lot of time in keeping up with people, showing me their status updates and photo albums. And you are so empathetic. People fire all their problems at you constantly and you take it all in stride--what a great listener! I'm telling you, you would have made a great psychologist, but no, you had to go major in Business instead. No matter. You still make a lot of money. You'd also be a pretty good tabloid journalist, considering how much gossip and misunderstanding you stir up.  

But let's talk more About Me. Not my hobbies or my activities. Not my workplace or my hometown. Since we separated, I have felt so free in some ways. I guess when stalking tendencies decrease, so do worries! Huh! Who would'a thunk! I've become good friends with your uncle Skype. I know you do business together on Facebook chat, but I like Skype more when he's not "under the influence" (your influence, that is.) Sorry to compare you to drugs and alcohol, but you do get pretty crazy sometimes! Anyway, Skype is a lot more easy to understand without you distracting me, that's for sure. 

You do more than just distract me, though. You don't stand by me when I'm not strong and you won't be my friend when I can't carry on. I take it all back about you being a psychologist! You'd be the absolute worst. I'll give you some credit for listening to my rants, but all you ever do is repeat my own words back to me! It's like I'm talking to myself in a mirror! Then some friends come over with sharpies and write comments all over my mirror (aka my FB profile.) I go through life and the only time those comments are real is when I come back to that mirror and see those words running across my face like temporary tattoos. Some comfort you are. I swear, you could at least CALL ME MAYBE! 

It's alright. I will survive and my heart will go on. I find solace in the way people like my pensive quote, encouraging Bible verse, or hilarious photo I post sometimes. The more my friends like my words and pictures, the more they like me. That's my philosophy. So I tag as many people as I can in as many photos as I can. It can get tiring, but it is sure worth all those likes from friends who may not have looked at my photo album otherwise! 

I have never met anyone as jealous as you are. You expect me to sit with you wandering through my friend's profile when that same friend is physically in the same room. You're a trippy character, Facebook, you know that? The nerve you have, talking about my friends all the time when I could talk to that same person face-to-face if my eyes weren't stuck on you, wuh-oh-wuh-oh stuck like glue!

You and me baby, we're stuck like glue.

See you in the fall,

Lindsey

Disappointment Debunked

"Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own."

~ Aslan in The Horse and His Boy

I suppose I should have expected it, and in a way, I did. Seven days of enacting all the planning and excitement of VBS has plumb wore me out. This was my fourth year directing VBS at my church. God planted the wildly huge idea of VBS in my brain at the ripe age of fifteen. My church is small--like 80-people- in-the-congregation-on-a-good-day small. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with smallness. But we do, as in other areas, desire to grow in this area. Lakeway Community Church has had its share of ups and downs, like every other church. Our Sunday morning kids ministry has been on the downswing for a while now. We have around 3 "regulars" from birth to 5th grade.

The secondary goal of VBS in my mind has always been to attract kids to our scant children's ministry.  You know what? I have not seen that goal realized. Let me tell you--it is disappointing.  We have a widely un-churched region right next door, and our ministry is somehow faltering. This is highly discouraging to someone who has been going to the same church my parents helped start since the year I was born.

But the primary goal of VBS is far more important than the second. This is what energizes me personally. Through VBS, we have the opportunity to share the incredible love of God. We only have a week to cram in all this wonderful truth, but the message remains clear, and, especially this VBS where trusting God has been the primary theme, the Bible points have really hit home. I want our VBS to take kids one step further in their relationship with God, whether it is that very first step or somewhere along the path of fostering a relationship with the Creator and Savior of the universe. I believe that goal was realized, and I praise God for that! And we sure had fun too!!!

Disappointment in efforts is inevitable. From my experience, if you are afraid of disappointment, it most certainly will come. Fear of disappointment does not stop my action-hungry heart, but when it comes, I must make an extreme effort to focus on what matters:

who God is and what He has done in my heart.

That is all that I can ever really know of my "effect" on any person or thing. All the rest is guesswork, because I'm trying to look into other people's stories. Sometimes I get super distracted, trying to act "detective" and play God in deciphering what has worked and what has not, who is pleased and who is disheartened. It doesn't work. It just doesn't. Stop the analyzing. Be still.

The fact is, if I am seeking to follow God, I know He can fill in the gaping holes in my weak, mangled efforts.

We don't all get to see God do something as spectacular as bring long-dead bones back to life (Ezekiel 37.)

This is the battle against disappointment: when what we see doesn't match up with what we believe. Bring these dead bones to life! Stir up some action--visible results please! Yup--that's what I want!

In order to hear and comprehend the mighty roar of the Lion, I must put my hope in my mighty God and not in my own "achievements" or "disappointments." Only then will I find strength to soar on wings like eagles (Isaiah 40:31.) Then I will be able trust God, leaving my fears behind.

Get a peek into our Sky-flying VBS week at LCC by watching this slideshow. :D

Distrustful Tendencies

Actually, it's not rabbit OR duck season. I do love Looney Tunes, though! VBS season, though drawing to a close for most, is reaching its climax at my church. In two days, our little church will be transformed into a sky-themed adventure. Our overarching theme is "everything is possible with God!"

I am the VBS director kind of overseeing the whole thing, and I am also leading the beginning and end of each day with singing and teaching. We will be learning one of these Bible points each day:

• No matter who you are...trust God!
• No matter how you feel...trust God!
• No matter what people do...trust God!
• No matter what happens...trust God!
• No matter where you are...trust God!

I love that we are teaching and learning these awesome points at Sky VBS. Trusting that God is loving and good is crucial to the Christian faith.

However, trusting God is extremely difficult sometimes. I have such a hard time trusting God that I feel inadequate . . . even hypocritical, teaching it. Suddenly a burst of panic gushes through me and I know Satan is stoking this negative response. I remember all the times I haven't trusted God, moments of pain and fear and sorrow.

Is God really trustworthy? 

That is Satan's favorite question to plant in our minds. Satan may be cunning, but he's very uncreative. He pushes this question over and over, knowing that if we believe this lie that God is not trustworthy, it will be so much easier for him to get at us.

 What is it about trust that the human race just doesn't get? We are afraid to trust because we don't want to get hurt, we don't want to be wrong, and we are afraid we are missing out. Adam and Eve had the first ever trust issue. They didn't trust God was providing the best for them, and so they rebelled, thinking there was something better they were missing. Where did it end? Pain and death. 

Though God had handed Saul many victories and crowned him king over Israel, time and time again he refused to trust God because he thought that he knew better. What happened to Saul? He was humiliated and killed himself. 

David didn't trust that God had satisfied all his desires, so he ran with his lust and committed adultery with Bathsheba and later the planned slaughter of Bathsheba's husband. The result was the death of the first son born of Bathsheba and David.

The Pharisees couldn't believe that Jesus was the Son of God. They couldn't see past all the rules and regulations they followed with absolute precision. They refused to trust that this man was God Himself, because it seemed too ridiculous to be true. Well, we can all attest that the Pharisees led pretty miserable lives because of their trust in principles instead of in God incarnate. Who knows if some of them eventually trusted in Christ or not?

None of the disciples trusted Jesus' words about Himself. When Jesus was crucified, they were so wrapped up in the "finality" of death, that they failed to grasp that He would come back to life, thereby promising resurrection to all who believe in Him. Even when He returned to them in bodily form, Thomas still wasn't able to trust Jesus' words. Thomas didn't trust his own eyesight, for goodness' sake!  

Let's face it, we all want proof that God cares about every facet of every person's life! I want proof that God loves the North Korean child in a prison camp, a place where the kid cannot even grasp the concept of love, a place where his own mother steals food from him, a place of starvation and torment. Get Him out of there, God! We all want proof that God is good, loving, trustworthy, and reliable in every circumstance, time, and place! Well, ya know, we simply do not receive proof sometimes--at least not in specific situations. However, there is a reason God has left us His Word, for there lies a multitude of evidence of God's love and mercy in the most dire of situations. 

• God did not destroy Adam and Eve when they rebelled. He set a plan of restoration in motion.
• God gave Saul countless opportunities to come back to Him. Unfortunately, due to Saul's response, his was not a happy ending.
• God forgave David and gave him hope, continuing to bless him.
• Jesus instructed the Pharisees and was harshly insistent on some topics, because He wanted them to come to Him. 
• Jesus, resurrected, ate with His disciples and offered Thomas to touch the wounds in his side. The result of their trust in Him no matter what was 11 cowardly people transformed into 11 of the most courageous followers of Christ the Bible has recorded. And they all would attest, I believe, to a life full of joy and hope and purpose. 

I'll let you in on a formula we all potentially trust at some point. If we place our trust in this formula it will rip us apart:

something bad is happening and God isn't stopping it = God doesn't care and if I was God, I would handle this better

True or false?

You decide.

A New Sense

Yeah, I know--I just posted yesterday. This is just so cool, though, I had to write about it! Watch this video--it is of a deaf woman who has had a cochlear implant and is just now hearing for the first time. The question she gets most is "how are you able to talk so well?" She attributes it to the speech therapy classes she took when she was deaf.

The emotion is evident in her entire persona. As she hears the nurse, she breaks out into a huge grin and is overwhelmed by joy. Tears inevitably conquer as the sound of her own gasps and sobs startle her. She begins to laugh at the strangeness of it all. She's literally been introduced to a whole new dimension that we take advantage of, gaining the fifth sense she should have had from the moment she was born.

This woman's encounter with physical restoration and inexpressible joy helps me to imagine what our spiritual restoration in heaven will be like. I imagine we'll be introduced to a whole new dimension...a dimension that was always present but was impaired to our sin-ravaged senses: a real sixth sense. This sense, too, is one that should have been with us from the second we were born. Obviously, we messed it up, similar to how we can mess up our ears by going to loud concerts on a regular basis. 

Thankfully, God had a plan of action. He prepared to enter a life-altering surgery that He would start to operate in us the nanosecond we placed our faith in Him. He will continue working until the day we die, and indeed, we are being renewed day by day (2 Corinthians 4:16.)

When we grasp this heavenly sense, we will finally understand how much we have missed. We will understand how God has been faithful from the beginning of time, and His love, unchanging and eternal, will wash over us with astounding clarity and completeness. Right now, we feel his love like we feel the rain, based on circumstance and other flighty things. In heaven, nothing will hinder our perception of His love, and I think it will hit us like a thousand waterfalls. We will be overwhelmed, like the lady in the video, except to an even greater degree.

Hallelujah and Amen! Not only do we have something indescribable to look forward to; abundant life is now!

---John 10:1-10---

“I tell you the truth, anyone who sneaks over the wall of a sheepfold, rather than going through the gate, must surely be a thief and a robber! 2 But the one who enters through the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. 3 The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice. 5 They won’t follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don’t know his voice.”

6 Those who heard Jesus use this illustration didn’t understand what he meant, 7 so he explained it to them: “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who came before me[a] were thieves and robbers. But the true sheep did not listen to them. 9 Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved.[b] They will come and go freely and will find good pastures. 10 The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.

For Richer, For Poorer

Which picture draws more compassion from you? 

Dunno about you, but my heart definitely breaks more for the African children than the prim lady with the chihuahua. 

But it draws a question from my mind: why?

Why do we forget about the rich? Jesus said it's more difficult for a rich man to place his faith in him then for a camel to go through the eye of the needle. Why are there virtually no ministries to draw those who are financially wealthy? There is nothing inherently wrong with having money, after all. It's the love of it that destroys us. The church probably sounds like a judgmental money-hating institution to people who own millions.  

It's easy to feel compassion for starving or exploited children. It's not so easy to feel compassion for a snobby, spoiled kid. It's easier to love a homeless man than a family who has loads of money in an economic crisis. For me, anyway. I think sometimes we forget Jesus hung out with rich people too, e.g. tax collectors. He didn't exclude anyone who hungered for His love. 

Hold on a minute, though! I'm not saying minister to the rich, and forget the poor! Jesus said religion that is pure and faultless is ministering to widows and orphans in their distress. Personally, I am passionate about helping the exploited citizens of North Korea, and I'm sure I'll write a blog post about it sometime. Let us never neglect the rampant poverty in this world. Rather, let's love the rich too, recognizing their spiritual condition may be even more dire than the cruelest clutches of the physical world. Easier said than done!  

What's your opinion? Do you think Christians are doing well ministering to the financially well-off? 

Symphonic Mystery

Zephaniah 3:17 

The Lord your God is with you,
the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.

Maybe it was on American Idol, on the streets of downtown Chicago, or even in your own house--perhaps you had no idea or maybe you had an inkling that person had it in them from the moment you glanced their way. Whether you can pinpoint a specific person or not, there's no doubt that we all have favorite styles of music and vocal tones. Justin Bieber, Tim McGraw, and Jon Foreman, for example, do not sound the same (at least, let's hope you don't think they do.)

What a rich array of vocal capacities with which God has gifted so many of His children! I find it funny that my friends are all over the spectrum in terms of musical taste. Some people love the rich, creamy vocals of Michael Buble. Others prefer the honest, clean voice of T-Swift, the rustic, rich sound of Tracy Chapman or Adele's sonorous vocals. Maybe grunge, folk, eclectic, hip-hop, or gospel style make you feel alive.

For me, my favorite female vocalist would be Audrey Assad and one of my favorite male vocals comes from Dave Barnes.

I imagine that God has the most resonant, quiet, raspy, solid, ethereal, deep, airy, gentle, powerful, twangy, brilliant, beautiful voice the world has never heard.

I imagine Audrey Assad and Dave Barnes and all of my other favorite artists blended and perfected into a voice that commands my utmost attention and awe. When I hear it unbounded for the first time, there will be tears and laughter and worship and near incredulity.

If the most talented mixer in the world blended every great singer's voices together in the same song, it would  sound awful. The melodies and harmonies may mesh, but the vocal tonal qualities would be too different to be compatible!

Somehow (because He is God after all,) and it is not beyond the scope of imagination, I believe God's voice retains all qualities, somehow unifying them into a symphonic mystery that is a delight to every ear--and best of all, His rejoicing and singing is over us!

Zephaniah, of course, is talking about God singing over Israel, but I bet it applies to us, too. God obviously loves music. He sure put an awful lot of it in this world! It would be no surprise to me, then, that God sings to   and about His beloved children day after day. What a joy that my Savior delights in me in such a way!

Life Personified

Guess you can't escape the news, even if you're not on Facebook--it just gets to you a little slower. I didn't think there would be any real connection of the sermon I listened while cleaning my room today to a real-life occurrence. After listening to the sermon, I read a campus-wide email about a sophomore Taylor student who died at his home last week. I did not know him.

The sermon I listened to was one that was preached Easter Sunday at the church I go to at school, Exit 59. This was mere days after Josh Larkin had passed away at my college. I had listened to half of it sometime in Ireland, but for some reason, I decided to listen to it again while cleaning my room.

 I'm always seeking to understand. I will never stop searching for the answers to those irritating, sometimes unanswerable "why" questions. That's just the way I am! I may become discouraged by lack of satisfactory answers over and over and over. It doesn't matter. If I stop searching, it's time to be worried about me, because something is terribly wrong.

Today I searched peacefully for answers. The pastor of Exit 59, Darren, spoke about the time when Lazarus was raised from the dead by Jesus, 4 days after he died. Jesus heard about the trouble Lazarus was in, but he waited 2 days before going to Bethany to raise his dear friend. Darren addressed the question of why Jesus waited, but that's not what I want to talk about right now.

I want to talk about Jesus' versatility--his empathy which was flexible to reach both Mary and Martha in their time of need. Both of the sisters met Jesus with the same desperate plea:

 "Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died!"

Darren noted that when Martha came to Jesus, He knew that she very much needed a philosophical, logical discussion. Jesus met that need and Martha came out of the amazing conversation with the confidence that Jesus was the Messiah!

When Mary ran to Jesus and fell to her knees in sorrow, Jesus knew immediately how to address her need as well. He empathized with her. He wept. The word used in the original translation meant "to cry painful tears." This was no fake cry. He felt her pain and Jesus Himself was sad.

Jesus told Martha, "I am the resurrection and the life!" Jesus does not just bring life--he is the personification of life itself!

Sometimes I wonder who I'm getting angry at when I'm angry at pain and death. Often, it's not God or humans or even Satan that particularly angers me. I'm literally angry at and devastated by the thing--the circumstance that is happening--and my complete loss of control.

Darren reminded me that Death, just like Life, can be personified. Many authors, filmmakers, and other creative artists have personified death in different ways. The most common of such characters is that of  "The Grim Reaper." Well, however death is personified, I think it quite possible that Christians are literally going to see "death" being thrown into the lake of fire at the end.

Revelation 20:14 says "Then death and the grave were thrown into the lake of fire. This lake of fire is the second death."

Darren portrayed it this way...it's like a group of people throwing someone into a swimming pool. Four people grab a leg or an arm and just fling him in. Death will have no control. "He" will be physically thrown into the lake of fire, and he will be finished forever. Death himself will die. Darren mentions that he wants to be one of the ones who holds one of Death's legs when they throw him in. Me too!

Just like me and Darren and most every other Christian, Jesus gets angry at Death! We see it in Jesus' response when he visits Mary and Martha. Even though he knows he will raise Lazarus to life that very day, Jesus is angry that death met with Lazarus in the first place!

John 11:33-39:
33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them.
They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”
38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

Christ has already won over the second death for us who are Christians. But we have yet to see the end of the first death until Death himself dies. Death is certainly doomed, Christ has seen to that, but we have not seen the end of Death yet. Don't get me wrong. This death business is in no way an equal and opposite power to Christ, the Light of the world. It's no yin-yang, light/dark side of the force parallel. Heavens, no. But that doesn't mean death doesn't live and have power today. We can all attest to that.

As much as we can, let us rest, let us live, let us thrive in the realization of Christ, of Life personified, who has won and will win and will reign and will forever call us, as Christians, His own. Eternal life is now!