Singleness and Neverland

Peter Pan: Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again. 

Wendy: Never is an awfully long time. 

A short time ago in a galaxy very very close . . . I thought I was destined for singleness. My reasoning? Well, considering I have never dated before, I am perhaps a little more cynical than some:

1. I don't understand dating relationships.
2. I don't want to understand dating relationships.
3. I can't understand dating relationships.
4. I love my friends. Isn't that enough?
5. Married people love their spouse more than their friends.
6. I don't ever want to get married because I want to love my friends as much as I do now.

Do you see the absurd, faulty logic in the above sequence?
Yes, so do I. Nevertheless, there you have it.

Behind that illogical facade is the truth: I'm scared of being in a relationship and I'm afraid of being single. Let's face it, I'm afraid of growing up. Lately, a different fear haunts me: I equate my intense fear of loneliness with singleness thereby burning myself on a fresh batch of golden brown lies. If all of my friends get married, where does that leave me? How will I find joy in singleness when my best friends are engrossed in a totally different life?

Why do I mention my oh-so-cliche relationship woes so soon after Valentines day?

Because I don't know why I keep expecting to have a Neverland life, where everything stays eternally the way I want it to right now. 

If you try to stay in Neverland, guess what happens? 

You will never experience change. 
Woohoo! 

You will never learn anything. 
Huh? 

You will never mature. 
So? 

You will never love God or others well. 
Oh...

99.99999999999% of people who try to avoid change/growing up end up being changed for the worst*

On the flipside, 99.999999999999% of people who accept change find an unexpected treasure trove of blessing. And yes, it is almost always unexpected, however long the track record of God's grace, because we are human and have constant grace amnesia.*

So in graduation, singleness, dating, friendship, job-searching, homeworking, moving . . . will you fly with me--will you help me fly--out of the pretense of Neverland to experience a Jeremiah 29:11 life that is so much greater than fears of change and growing up?

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

*statistic based on personal experience