Never Enough

Never Enough

by Lindsey Snyder

"If only God would SPEAK

To me, to me, to me!"

Cries the fearful sheep

To a Lamb

To a Shepherd

And--

this paradox--

A King!

Like the calling of Moses or Samuel or David

Like the willingness to offer His scarred hands to Thomas

then I would know without deadening doubt 

then instead of scrambling inside, I'd push my way out

Instead I'm a wave tossed back and forth,

The shore is my friend, my foe is the coast.

I'm never sure if enough is enough

Or if I'm even alive in my shuffling scuff.

I cannot love well if I cannot love You;

Can I love One who is the only true Truth

When I feel a lie living dormant inside

And I feel my selfishness rank as a sewer

Tear at the pipes of my heart like a skewer?

I've fallen backwards,

I've left at the door

My passionate desire to love people more.

A hermitage wakes

Inside of my heart

And my interests of pursuit

Are all but forgot.

It's never enough!

Israel proved that today

When you led them with fire and cloud in the fray

And spoke to them clearly, they still fell to dismay--

And I am the same, Lord

Yes, I am the same.

Discussion Q's:

1. Why did the Israelites fail to trust God time and time again, when He constantly gave them evidence of His protection and providence?

2. We all fall in a cycle of sin. When it seems as if you are not progressing out of it, how do you find strength to persevere? 

3. How do you feel a sense of "enough" in your relationship with God?

Serving, Serving, Everybody, Everywhere!

Luke 17:7-10

New Century Version (NCV)

⁷ "Suppose one of you has a servant who has been plowing the ground or caring for the sheep. When the servant comes in from working in the field, would you say, 'Come in and sit down to eat'? ⁸ No, you would say to him, 'Prepare something for me to eat. Then get yourself ready and serve me. After I finish eating and drinking, you can eat.'⁹ The servant does not get any special thanks for doing what his master commanded. ¹⁰ It is the same with you. When you have done everything you are told to do, you should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done the work we should do.' "

Today I read in the quiet of my dorm room. Yes, even dorm rooms can be quiet at strategic times. My usual spot is on my bed, propped up against a variety of pillows, including a husband. I'm quite sure if you do not click the link, you will get completely the wrong impression. Believe it or not, those things really are called husband pillows.

It's funny, because I asked God to teach me something today that would change my life. I was going through the daily devotional book Jesus Calling (highly recommended,) and got to the part where it referred me to certain passages in Scripture. Guess what? I accidentally turned to the wrong one. It turns out my mistake may have been purposeful.

This passage in Luke causes me to upgrade my view of God. I would never verbalize that I am serving God or others for the sake of getting something in return. However, I still find myself desiring acknowledgment for the good that I do. However much I attempt to change my attitude, I still teeter over the chasm of selfishness.

I am not surprised by my selfishness, but I continue to tear myself apart in this war against myself.

Perspective.

I am unworthy to be a servant of the King of the universe.
Yet He calls me His child.
He calls me His friend.
I am His servant.
His sheep.
His body.
He gives me His Spirit.
He gives me His peace.
His life.
His love.

What have I truly given God? What have I truly given others? Service is not a white elephant gift exchange. Service does not expect a thank-you card. Loving servants of Christ do not receive special treatment--in fact, often it is just the opposite.

Service is doing what I'm supposed to be doing. 

Service is nothing to be applauded. Just like a little kid is expected to pick up his toys, I am expected to obey God! I need to stop taking such a high view of myself when I serve. Certainly, it is a good thing to do, obviously, but sometimes I forget how Jesus introduced the idea of service.

Service is a command, not a recommendation. We are expected to go to the deepest, nastiest parts and serve with a gentle spirit, without regard to self. Wow. I'm glad God's strength is made perfect in my weakness, because I struggle with that!

So I'd like to start a conversation! Please! :) I know I have some questions, and I would love to hear your thoughts! Answer some or all of these, or comment on something else.

Some honest questions:

(1) What helps you get into the right mindset when serving God and others? What has helped you to break the attitude of wanting something in return for serving?

(2) Are we rewarded in heaven for the service we do for God? If so, is it wrong to incorporate the rewards of heaven into the motivation for acts of service?

(3) What other concepts/actions does God expect of us that we may often forget about?

So These Three Remain...

"So these three remain: faith, hope, and love."

Hope-moments. Such times can be rare and precious to me, especially during troubles. Don't get me wrong, I can be a very happy person! But am I truly joyful? I have these moments of "passionate go-getter" but I still--often--lapse into negativity.

What would it be like to not just experience faith, hope, and love in snapshots? What would it be like to inhabit these qualities? Faith, hope, and love do not guarantee happiness. They do not guarantee friends' approval. They do not convince God to love me any more. These are qualities that will benefit me in the long run. These are qualities that make life worth living. These are qualities that form an abundant life. 

So that's the story behind the blog name. My desire is to inhabit faith, hope, and love. May it be where I eat, sleep, laugh, grow, stumble, sing, play, cry, and live.

So welcome to a blog where I will share my spontanaeity...

a blog inhabited not by perpetual happiness...

but always by hope!

 inhabit - to occupy as a place of settled residence or habitat